oliveview revisited

I watch the CNN in the main room of the house and see the bomber guy on tv and see that people are saying that the death penalty is not good enough for him and I agree and find myself thinking he should be locked in that tiny cell all day and all night and have 'apps" put into his head.that make him see and feel and hear things
and I feel a nasty pain in my arm-Evan believes I am thinking this 'at him'

I am in the
main room of
                       the communal area.
where roomates are like allowed to 'be"
thing is
they are like there all the time
oh I tell them this.
..don't think just cause I don't write their names that  I am sneaky and spread pent up energies ..i.e LIES into the Enways ..that's the main thing they teach you in Neuronautics
never keep your real feeling and real calibrations inside
or you might do some real real damage to the Neural highway,the "N' Way
...with the
Output you do
 that has nothing at all  to do with" apps" or brain interface
but just true true
emanations
 I hate more and more that  I was  deliberately brought up
to Emanate  and "to ceiling  walk"
 and have powers
if you ask me they "app-ed me" because THEY know I have these powers
and need me to
be "reel-ed in" and learn to emit outwardly in a productive fashion like a warhead
(is this what you want me to write Evan? I graph...that I think I have powers..)
"IN A NOTEBOOK Dummy  not ONLINE",Evan graphs,but I can tell he is not really tuned in..
'YOU WERE WRITING ABOUT coming inside and feeling enraged that your roomates were in the communal area..and you have sudden visions of them evisirerated..
"how do spell eviserated and what does eviscerated mean?...I GRAPH



(2)
usually from the close proximity of other s
.
I get  tics
or stutter.

(no I don't I graph..and Evan graphs "we will work on it")

"the 2 roomates , the two girls .I mean woman sometimes  follow me and say HEY HEY
whats wrong
and stuff..but I get a sense they know
I just ..need to
(need to what Evan?  you know I don't mind the roomates_)

Dumbo YOU DO mind the roomates!

(ok...ok...and I glean a sense of what Evan wants me to feel...and for real the feeling  comes over me.
and I must admit I like it
I want to punch something break something
I come up stairs and look for something to smash
but Evan takes the feeling away)


I kinda want the whole house to ONLY be mine lately,I write

and so would you if the Mandlers were coming down on you like they are lately- to show them "something they can get a nickel's worth from" meaning
me to be able to

"go action-ie"
meaning
go punchy  in a bar ...but now they don't just want punchy ..they want a record of my
tendencies

but I am not sure how to do this
because these tendencies are controlled by Evan...via the Merge




but I don't say  to my roomates about  wanting the house all mine anything cuz'i don't want anyone feeling bad

NOW DUMBO does that make any sense..?
wait..
yes

I think it does..leave that in there      -there  needs to be ..some dichotomy to how Dumbo thinks and reacts

(what's dichotomy mean ..I graph but glean no response )


...nobody really seems to be an adult here..xxxx says people who 'put on airs to be adults" or "appear adult like"
are attempting to make others feel un worthy and small
.

I told xxxx i was going to send away for a war bride...to be my wife.
and there was going to be lots of changes here
and maybe even some babies.

I had mentioned it to a friend of mine who thinks he's like my mandler.
my ground bound mandler
and I saw "YO..just cause i say some thing..does not mean you have to give me advice..or that I want some advice or naysaying!..

"that's how most people converse ..someone says something and someone says something back"

'I know this.," I yell,"i DO watch tv you know...but the point is you SHOULD say..that's like the best idea I think you've had in a long time.."

than he just starts..
getting all..
like he knows me...and I tell him ..I gotta go..

i'm thinking of what warbride.mail order bride I might want..
when I come home.
all angry
that it seems everything I say is stupid
so my tics  are kinda worse than usual
that's what they call them "tics'
and the roomates of course are all in the main room watching damn CNN
and that's whenI get the pain in my arm
thinking the psyco bomber should be "app-ed" with AI...and be locked in that cell.

"you ok <'one of them says,

'yeah I'm OK ," I yell.they know I am self conscious about my tics and have said
 "..It's cute when I get ..like that...
I don't mention that it's not tics but total pain

sometimes one of "the girls" would say -here sit down -let me message you..calm you down..
the Mentors being ruff on you?

ONLY I can talk about the Mandlers.
and I have told them this over and over
and
they know only XXXX is allowed to touch me..

 I didn't even pick the new roomates

cause I moved to LA..
a few years back
when I got "app-ed".when I stuck around califonia  .XXXX  got rid of the roomates I (or we had mutually) picked because he said he missed me and they reminded him of me
so they had to go

Liam is the only one left from the original
bunch
how he stayed on I don't know

when me and xxxx ..
redid the house (which we never finished)..after we tried  making it a business
we set up all these rules..like we saw other roommate seekers on craigslist did about shared kitchen privaledges and stuff
cause we wanted roomates..not just caus ethe house is big and we wanted money but
mainly so we'd have  buffers
so when me and xxx would get into physical fights.
there'd be like some woman or professional business man to say
"oooh no ooo no"
and it worked.
we rarely get into physical fights anymore except when we're in bed. and he tries pinning me down


the house me and xxxx and the 3 other roomates who don't let me write down their names ..except Liam
we
bought is pretty nice.
and I sorta like having people around whether they don't know "the rules of how to deal" with someone whose been 'app-ed" and is therefore either touchy
or in some kind of
"no normal' of learning how to  be someone's game

me and XXXX when we were first  together and  werelong time companions
and had some good money from this lawsuit we won having to do with eggs and XXX getting a sudden case of agoraphobia...and fear of linoleum
I had worked at the chain store at the time and had to literally work there 2 months like for real just to put two little eggs down so XXXX could tip over..

it was complicated cause first I had to go to the microphone and say into the loudspeaker to "report the eggs" and
say,"EEEEEEM UP gone SILES Vine EEEMS UP gone STYLES VINES!"but in a way that you like speak in like algebra  in high school in the middle of class "out loud " but in a way everyone but  the teacher  hears you ..than I had to run to get this yellow cone ..and curse everyone for not responding STAT!   leading  the impending emergency to come

but too late..
there was XXXX on the floor as planned..


 first we made the house we bought together in what XXXX called out honeymoon period
 into a halfway house
where people were allowed to drink and smoke weed but not do heavy drugs..
we called in a Rational Recovery House..

and even hired some addiction counselor who was always wacked on Vicodin  which is not a heavy drug..or at least a street dug..
the rational recovery house did pretty well
and there was always a party


..until some dick called the city and said we were cashing their government checks and not even letting the "clients" in the big upstairs bedroom which had 3 bunkbeds
in it run the airconditioning when they wanted to
the dick cause me and XXXX our business and we had to pay tons of money in citations..
and if you ask me that's when things went bad between me and xxxx

("we need you to re-introduce some of your weirdo drawing ...and revisit some of your "spin bin days)

I graph that most of the paintings I was told to paint with "loony tune themes" sold

well do another one

(I just can't DO one on the spot...)

do one "on the spot "and we'll call it an early night ok?

--------------

"..what's this for anyway?' I graph

and inadvertently I glean from Evan it's about some bill some congresslady wants to pass..
and "that's how I will pay for some of my mentorship...by helping the congresswoman have some
PDA

"what's PDA?" I graph and Evan sends a buzz through my audotiry cortex...and imparts I should know by now to interface some thing when I know the he is transferring private dat I KNOW damn WELL is not for me to know

simultaneously I glean that PDA means public display of aggression.

Proposed Bill that Disallows the Mentally Ill to use the Internet

The schizophrenic will look anywhere and everywhere for some "rational" reason or reasoning to explain his or her symptomology. A mental patient for good reason does not often like being thought of as a mental patient so much so perhaps that  one with mental illness would prefer being told or perhaps "excused' of their stigma by reclassifying themselves as a "test subject" a "project. Some experiment of the Transhumanistic Movement.." No longer does this type explain away their illness ,their hallucinations  as caused by little green men or the supernatural .No these days this type feels their condition is caused by technology. Perhaps the stigma of mental illness is still so great that especially concerning the more devastating forms of mental disease such as schizophrenia or psychosis that is has  become easier for the unfortunates suffering from delusions and deviation of their senses to believe that "something or someone" has deliberately tinkered with their "internal guidance  systems.In increasing numbers many of these unfortunates have actually pulled their wits together enough to "act" and set forth legal claims that this agency or that has indeed "somehow" caused  some type of intervention with their minds and nervous systems electronically or biologically or a combination of the two.Something called Biotechnology. According to some mentally unbalanced individuals there is some type of world wide epidemic of Post Nuremberg sanctioned causation to Biotechnological Experimentation on their specific demographic which can best hide the human testing...as who better to play mind games with than one who already has a previous diagnosis of let us simply call it diversion of "the norm" in terms of both emotional and cognitive states.Schizophrenia and Psychosis the cinema and literature has taught us are especially dangerous abnormalities .According to clinicians this type of individual is not grounded in our mutually understood reality ,so why not by all means take advantage of their low position on the social totem pole and experiment with psychotronic devices and neurotronic advanced technologies as are these unfortunates not already essentially "masked" or labelled bizarre...according to several so called "Targeted Individuals" their previous psychiatric label ,which did not include hallucinations neither aural or visual placed them in "harms way" with Big Pharma and The Mind Augment Industry which indeed exist to be considered "the perfect stooge/Guinea Pig" for research and development with an array of  "new toys' and "gadgetry".I suppose one might "have to be excuse the term ,"mental" to understand the logic of "the BIG SCHEME OF THINGS"although I can empathize that a person afflicted with the "there but for the grace of god go I "conditions of Psychiatric illness may very well  be entitled or at least predisposed to search for answers as to "Why Me?"..Why am I like this?Why am I mentally Ill?

 

In the last decade if not before the  personal computer and thus access to the internet has become so ubiquitous that even a citizen with mental defect and the financial deficits usually associated with "this kind" of persons  can gain access to the World Wide Web and this is very dangerous, not just for persons whose diagnosis precludes  a clearness of mind to differentiate between reality and fallacy,as the "Internet told me" is becoming the new "the devil made me do it" for this section of the population that are now disregarding their doctor's advice and regiment to attempt to if not cure but at least  temper their psychiatric symptoms as NOW "because the internet told me" I am not hallucinating  or behaving in an  aberrant    fashion  NOT because I am ill but because  this link on the internet TOLD ME I was not sick but "chipped"
I am sympathetic to those who are too ill to function and garner the rewards of a normal existence ,I feel for their suffering.I understand that many of these unfortunates can not or will not hold a job .I understand  that this segment of the population because of their inability to function "normally " in the world  often has many hours of the day they must fill because the world tends to exclude those who "walk to a different drummer"
The mind of anyone with too much time on their hands may wander ...Who amongst us has not spent or should I say wasted the day away "online'.Now imagine the hold the computer might have on one with a diseased mind   who might use the computer to seek out explanation of their delusions? They might turn to all matter of substantiated and unsubstantiated websites that almost seem catered to this "fringe element " of society:The Mental Patient.
Websites,chatrooms that provide  alternative reasoning for the psychiatric illness of hallucinations and the sense that "one is not entirely "in control: 'of their sense BUT is in FACT controlled  by forces or powers outside themselves  often pertaining to genuine  technologies that do in fact exist to "do" just this.I have tried to place myself in this demographics' shoes. I have imagined myself on a government pension with no need to work ,,perhaps eventually no reason to even shower or shave..."well I may as well spend the day in my housecoat or bathrobe ..after all "I have nowhere to go, no one to see.I sit at the computer(mind you a computer that was probably bought with a provided subsidy)and  search for all sorts of explanations for my thinking disorder.I might type in key words -"visions"...""hearing things" ..I might even begin typing in the words "mind Control"..and what pops up on my screen? ...you guessed it .A smorgasbord  of information and misinformation about things like Brain Computer Interface .Psychotronic Testing..Synthesized telepathizing,,and perhaps for good measure HUMAN EXPERIMENTATION.
I can only imagine these unfortunates  eyes glazing over coming upon some of these websites about  corporations   and nonsuch making significant progress with real advancements in things such as Virtual Reality ,Human Computer Interface and Artificial Intelligence.It is perhaps inevitable that one who is not quite "in their right senses" might consider that "another" might be "tampering " with their  senses..
In the "old days" this type often believed their delusions  were caused by space aliens ,supernatural possession and UFOs .After WW2 there was an unheralded amount of psychiatric patients that began assuming and thus propagating their belief that small transmitters and receivers were placed in their tooth fillings ,In the next couple of decades there were some rather vague articles that indeed other nations were "playing around" with pulsed sound waves  and signaling that could bypass the typical biology that enables one to hear...a few  scant articles that certain new technologies could indeed facilitate   "messages" in or upon another's mind. Certain films and books joined the bandwagon of this "New World Order" and new terms such as "Brainwashing" and "Mind Control" became part of public discourse. And part of the mental patient's view of their own mental impairment coming from "outside " themselves and not from "with in".Late night radio personalities of the time might have encouraged these "unfortunates" that indeed outside forces might be the reason for their mental deficits ,their hallucinations, their "voices" etc. Talk of sound waves, microwaves ,frequency fields being used to broadcast "messages". In this century the radio transmitter in "the tooth filling" has been replaced by speculation of microprocessors and or RFD chips being oh so mysteriously placed inside one's body..one's tooth fillings one's person..Let me give you a disturbing glimpse of how "urban myth" of this sort might cause undo stress and harm on those amongst us who already are "out of touch " with reality due to psychiatric problems concerning the mother of all fostered fears.The nanochip....which has become the "new UFO", thenew "alien abduction" of the "tin foil hat brigade". The nano chip or nano tube  is so small that it can enter a human nervous system through one's pores or lungs, no "alien abduction necessary". Since the nano chip can enter the bloodstream without incision you can imagine the ramifications of this speck of knowledge upon the mentally ill and how nano devices have all but become the false McGuffin of causation of "hearing a Voice or Seeing Objects or things that nobody else can to those afflicted with mental disease.

A noted psychiatrist who had concerns about a number of patients who had become convinced that their schizophrenia  was a type of SYNTHE- PHRENIA had shown me photos of a patient who had cut off his own nose because he thought a general practitioner he had gone to for a nasal swab of some kind had embedded a microchip in his nasal canal.This poor mentally challenged man cut off his own nose to try to remove this "chip" from his body ...to stop The Voices.and The Seeing.Did this unfortunate find any microchip or nano chip in his now removed nose?Of course not.
You might ask yourself where this mentally ill person got "this notion" that a doctor had "imbued" him with insertive technology?
The Internet is to blame.
The internet is responsible for an already stigmatized man to be forced now to wear a prosthetic nose!For THE INTERNET TOLD HIM that a prosthetic Brain Implant of some kind was responsible for his unwanted let us call the Extra Sensory Perceptions of "the world"
The psychiatrist had remarked that it is a "god send" that the unstable man did not seek out his GP to
"pay" for "perceived crimes" of "chipping him"
The psychiatrist also remarked that PERHAPS there is GOOD REASON to be AFRAID of a "mental health client" who hears and sees things
WE cannot. Furthermore there is GOOD REASON to ALSO be afraid and also "contain" persons who perpetuate "the fables of Human Experimentation " being practiced "on unsolicited so called "Targeted Individuals"
Some of these so called TIs actually take the time to construct rather elaborate websites that describe in detail all matter of horrific crimes being perpetrated on innocent victims pertaining to all matter of scientific endeavor concerning real life Cyborgs.Real Time investigational research and development
being secretly carried out for some thing they call the Trans human Singularity. Now while a rational person might come about these sites and be amused or perplexed a person who is NOT RATIONAL might be swayed to forego a psychiatric explanation for their plight of hearing voices ,seeing things  and their subsequent feelings of Mind Control and Mind "Melding" techniques with external guidance systems not their own. Websites that cater to "the unwell" also explain that certain doctors and medical professionals are perhaps in "cahoots" with computer companies and all sorts of "agency".
One website by a so called Targeted Individual who explains in depth that this country has a rather lurid history of preforming unspeakable "tests" on "subjects". The very same web site in fact that induced the unstable man who was and is clearly psychotic to cut off his nose to find "evidence" of
induced Sound and Vision.
THIS is why I and others in the medical field propose a bill that Disallows the Mentally Ill to use the internet except when supervised so they cannot and will not be influenced by information that might overwhelm their already overwhelming circumstances .-Dr.Eileen Rosen 2011-Clearwater, FLA

(site removed march 2012)