drive

INT-VAN-NIGHT

XXXX tells me I did good and shows me the pictures on his phone  of the job I did on Denny's face...with the pastels in Denny's studio

 XXXX says maybe I can do paint his face like a skeleton's too one day.

I look at the pictures of Denny Pace on the phone, his eyes show nothing..so I feel nothing..

Even the pictures of Denny after we "did' him show nothing in his eyes.
and therefore

 I have to suppose NOTHING in his Neural Read.
as if Denny was too good to give anybody any Vicarious satisfaction..

after we both had a go at him,taking him from the mouth and behind
his eyes STILL remained blank

so I had to begin making moves with the scissors real real close to his eyes
..telling him
if he pulled that shit again.
.writing that anyone TOLD him TO PAINT pictures a certain way

I would have  cut off his eyelids..

 

(2)

me and XXXX drive home in  silence

 

I know he is proud of me..but because of this knowing
I get a feeling he has always thought of me before" AS" a Denny Pace sort..

so I kind of can't help but feel two ways about XXXX

I know somewhere in me I feel a new love for my Mother..and  the Mother-Figures that raised me much like Denny Pace.

I feel like calling her..to tell her
 that I  finally respect it ..
 now.