everythings up to date in kansas city

they .who play "mandlers'
are not what I understand to be a " Christian "take on G-d..
no
more judgmental. Punishing

PETTY

although I believe it's my best interest to assume ..those that have taken me..
are indeed
"pros"
science -ideology based
Neuronauts..
...
although I must say..
certain speculations "comes to mind" that indicates
my tether..
(is not so innocuous)

the problem is I do not kEEP up with the way I was  ..or am supposed to tell this story
I have been captured by something/someone ...but
now it all seems so pat to blame "Them"
the side story that ..seemed to go ..out the window that "ya see Dumbo you were raised in a Neuronautics style...
which "yes' included "themes' of Monarch programming

ooooo yes indeed it sure did brotha'

----------------
let me explain something about being in communicado 24/7 for years via apparatus to induce visual and auditory ...emotional over lay or over ride of one's nervous system
each day ..
you feel your very nervous system breaking
you can almost feel double and single chain bits of RNA breaking..
your movements are no longer fluid..
your mind is not what it was.
your emotions...? well-- I believe I once had emotions...
now..?
not so much

I despise those who "read me" and "write "upon me in a way as un-natural as the imbue itself..
I take Ativan ..which all but wrecks whatever emotion I had...whatever thinking I could do to try to present this as fiction...
as fiction is what people not made  into a living version of unit 731@srt8 to cortex
can relate to..
I type faster..
for as I feel more and more of my senses going and my dystonic twitch becoming more Parkisonian
I have so very reason to
exist...
in fact all I pray for is some wee bit of humanity that
informs me that the longer I choose to stay alive ..the more data I give them ...concerning using this tech to "hand's off" drive another to genuine madness and not this synthesized version of such

I wrote an entry sometime ago..
about "being part of this project I never wished to be in"
IF say
a Jew dressed like a Nazi ...said "hey ...get on that cattle car"
so we can "do a simumlation of how THEY might "do Human Atrocity" these days..

OK OK I'll do it..I'll "get on"
so I get on the train..and the train goes to Auschwitz..

"Hey ,hey ," A Jewish Guard dressed like a Nazi says get of the train ,hitting me with a bat...using next a gun to my head to direct me to the showers..

'NOW strip and put on these bio sensors so we can get a read of how a person dies via interface   and how a human organism feels pain..A good Jew would do this for his fellow Jews"

"well I would say running for the electric fence "I guess I am no longer a Jew than!"

this would make the Jewish Man "dressed and acting like a Nazi Guard" for the simulation furious and he would shoot me .

and how glad ..how glad I would be to finally escape this never ending torture.

Cole Cohen 5/3/14