as a rule.most people don't .."run off " to St Paul or Kansas City..las vegas.
key west..
I guess some folks with grander minds or senses go to London..
or something..
kids with rich parents.
Or those kids who worked 77 jobs in high school.
weren't drunk through most of it..
.. you know the type...
I suspect maybe You were that type..
how would I know?
good for you...though huh...
trust me .me and you don't have the same type of furniture.
or carpeting.
a guy like me "comes " with that shitty beaded brown or tan..sheetrock shit carpeting in their dwellings.the type of carpet a landlord expects you to put live cig butts out on
me and you dear reader...don't run with the same crowd..
we don't even walk on the same kinda' carpet.
not my kind. Though-
.those kids.
who had aspirations..
of roaming around France..
or "getting somewhere" in life.
I already somehow knew ...there would be NO PLACE to GET TO
unless "They Made it SO"
and
last thing they wanted
was me "doing the right thing"
going to college or working at some mini mart..and saving up to
be "a somebody"
I was young and had a mouth
and (to Mandlers) and
just
youth in general
is all about
getting in and out of holes.
especially
if you were raised.
rabbit
hole style.
you had better.......know what the Timeline excepted of you
you NOW the teenage dirtbag they expected and groomed for such...had better get dirty...FAST
there was to be no ..
4 years and
a degree..
it barely crosses your mind.
which was never your own
never was meant to be....those notes you saw....in the Time Life Insect book stick in your head
they were meant to..
..since the day you were born...
LOOPS...of silent sound are "thinking for you"...thinking on top of you
cams
everywhere...
you saw the blueprints for the house.
you know where the cams are...and the mics...but you KNOW
you're not aloud to 'touch them 'or really acknowledge them"
the house was 'set up this way' for a reason...
and you respect "it"somehow...
this was before cams were everywhere..
on every street corner..in every MAC machine..
dude.this was BEFORE MAC machines.
silent sound.
that's the thing.
that's the thing you don't get.
there was no internet then..
and no "The Frey Effect" or "Off Axis Holography as recessed lighting to Terrify Children " for Dummies books back when there were bookstores...
after leaving "Woodhouse".
the story becomes mundane
you miss seeing the little cartoons ..that zinged and zipped around just for you
it wasn't always to scare you...not by a long shot..it was a friend..
it was real.
friend
.
friend
.
you saw the the papers on how they "made the images.." you see the tiny pinpoint projectors..
but you know never to say anything ...when someone came by. When some friend you liked "just enough' to bring home with you
friends ..inviting friends over. Wasn't really.
what one did..in my family..
the kid's parents. Maybe the kids themselves ...felt
something
something spooky goin' on..
in all honesty...
who cared..
I had what I had ....sound and vision wise...real people ...could never quite "keep up' what what was on my mind facial recognizance wise...and all that stiff...the researchers. JOB was to do on me..
the pretty counselor I see at schools I can explain this too
.
friends ..inviting friends over. Wasn't really.
what one did..in my family..
the kid's parents. Maybe the kids themselves ...felt
something
something spooky goin' on..
in all honesty...
who cared..
I had what I had ....sound and vision wise...real people ...could never quite "keep up' what what was on my mind facial recognizance wise...and all that stiff...the researchers. JOB was to do on me..
the pretty counselor I see at schools I can explain this too
.
you see a pretty girl at the school...every week..
you don't thrive in school.
something is going "on with you".
only the pretty lady says you can ever talk to about" it" BUT to..no body else
you don't thrive in school.
something is going "on with you".
only the pretty lady says you can ever talk to about" it" BUT to..no body else
ever.
she gives you tons and tons of candy...which ..she says you have to hide from your dad and whatever
(2)
the bots are ready
ready to cross your blood brain barrier without you dropping dead from encephalitis..or that's what you are told...in 2011...(2)
the bots are ready
it's all you were born for.
all you were razed....to endure..
they want you to feel proud of being 'app-ed"
they don't want you thinking you're just a Husk...or a monkey..
but a Pioneer...
a Urban Astronaut...they said.
we don't want to "victim thinking"onward and up ,up and away...
350,000 of these little buggers bonded to my brain pan man
...
they wanted me to know this.
they needed me to know
the O pioneer bizness went fast down the drain..
cuz I didn't "use ' the "apps" right and ONLY think OUTWARD...not inward..
they said "we don't care if your tired,hungry or cold
all they care about is you learn to THINK towards them
and try somehow to "make this a working relationship'
it was than when I had to go to Science -Ideology like meetings...to learn to think in a way that "went " with "group think'
and for a while I did alright with it..
but than you're like OK...enough...are we done.? are we "there yet"
.. get these things outta me...
NOW!
meanwhile your friends are like .."you be bad before now you just be stark ravin'
you start writing about online
you weren't supposed to
and the whole testing of it turns on you
"you're willingly not trying"
so you try doing "the right street drugs " to make your mind slow down
and be OK with interface.
Ketamine
and than they simulate the Ketamine signal..
and can transmit the feeling of euphoria
as long as you don't use..
anything
dope wise to fuck up all these tests having to do with biochemistry and neural spikes ...and all this shit you cant give a flying fuck about
...and you're like "bitch you don't own me" and "dude...you 've made me a fuckin'hybrid or something ...I can snort or shoot up whatever I want to..
and you stop going to your "Neuronautics" sessions to think"Clearly"..purely...blankly
but it's always -all your fault for not knowing how to think to another ..
as if
one can control their thoughts 24 /7
you realize they must have known this ......and you begin looking things up...
mainly about A.I. Testing and something called Neurotronic Weapons..
whatever trust ...just for those 3 months goes to hell...
synthetic telepathy is only to drive another mad...
them thinking they can do it to win a war?
no.
not quite..
it would be however a great tactic to LOSE a war..
maybe in china or something where society is different...the culture
yeah.
it might work
'but in the USA...diversion...instant gratification...me first...greed is good...things make me "ok"
no way brother..
and than it becomes all about you shutting up about it.
and you're like hey brotha' whose gonna believe me?
..you are older now ..way older...and even if a pretty girl comes along with candy or extra ketamine...
you ain't no dink...
and you realize
it
IT was all leading up to you having NOTHING
but this technology...stage one stage two..stage 3..
and that the only you
that matters now ..is the you
that could be shared....thus to teach them how to go Mind to Mind
it's intrusive
how intrusive ...I can't explain-----------
not to you
you who think I am explaining a though disorder
oh.it's thought disorder alright
shove chips that read your every blink and wink and think
bro...you do you have a thought disorder.
dontcha' now?..
your mind becomes a cage..
why you think I write this..i started ...writing ...to try to
make my team stop
thinking if I wrote enuf...they'd leave me alone...get cold feet..."he's telling ,he's telling"
boy was I wrong
(3)
I KNOW WHERE THE DOOR IS to leave this program...
be careful reader walking around sidewalks with buildings over 13 floors high man...
and don't ever think i'm the only one raised this way
lots and lots and lots..
we're all over the internet..
somehow ...somehow telling the same exact stories
did ya' also realize a schizophrenic's main secondary and primary symptoms are a mind too disorganized to "tell a story'
as for the so calle d"hallucinations" since the 1800's folks were trying to induce visions in another with directed energy...
the Russians got real real good at it..
if you only knew ...
like they say brotha' 'look it up"
remote neural monitoring ...certain patents. About 5 sense straight to cortex "Tv"
ahh do what you want reader...if this ain't happening to you who cares.right
yeah.
I know you.
don't even need to dose you with no "bots" to read your mind buddy..
by this time I hated them.
"my Team"
almost
as much as THEY hated me.I ain't that like-able if you haven't noticed.
I was never really "a human " to them
ya' gotta remember
and my aging...
sickened them..
somehow " age-ing" wasn't 'in the book.
not really.
I was "fun to play with"
when I was in my 20's ...my 30's?
I just reminded them
of
------------------
I don't know..
they left me alone.
----
until
I was informed
"of my mission"
I tell you these dudes...are fuckin' literally ROCKET SCIENTISTS...
BRILLIANT.
WHO else would literally be able ,willing and stable enough to Man another Man
but I'm getting way ahead of myself.
(4)
the LOOPS ..they weren't there to make you Joe 90 smart..
or like whatever tapes were playing making baby superman deep learning smart...in that little tub of of diamonds and crystals ...marlon brando put baby superman in..
no
the tapes aren't to
offer you anything...
but some restlessness......
some wacko
you learn as you go along...you ain't the only one raised..
woodhouse
like I said they own you....they expect you to DO stuff..
bingo bang the president.
or learn to fuck like you mean it.
.and need it
in Van Nuys...and Studio City..
what else a guy gonna do when he's 19
and his whole life has been "Mandled"?
1987-----------
the guys you meet ..they seem to know you...
in retrospect.
how could they not? your're literally meeting these men...who knew you since you were born..
every one you meet is like exactly 23 ...or 24 years older than you..
your team..
these are the same guys who set you up to be raped...and "wrote sick scary "stories...that made you have night terrors..
they know every thing ...you don't know why..but you do
..you know you're not supposed to let it show...that you know...like you know you weren't allowed to block the mics and cams in bedroom when you were 5
...your 19...and think of "this knowing" as empathy...or something..
you become a kept guy...
The Boyfriend
"the kid" they call you..all your friends are "kept" by guys 20 years older..
you are all "
"the kid"
to them...
your theirs.
but
they like it when you screw around with guys your age..
on tape .
..back than it was these huge video cams..
..
they're yelling at you..all the time on tape..they always mixed the sound later....that's how much they yelled at us
porn wasn't what it is now.
.move your head outta the frame.!...
..tip your head this way...
don't eat for a coupla' days...
here's some meth...some coke.
.
.you start drawing little pictures.all "The Kids" have some"thing " they do...or try to...play a guitar or try to...write ...comics..or try to be 'real actors"
but ...the rest of "The Kid"
kind --they know when to "knock it off"
I don't
.
painting drawing
. they "think you're being uppity'
doing the drawings...
you have to sneak "it in'
they turn on you .....everytime you are ...sketching . in your own head....and not focused on being their whore....their boi
you are making it worse for yourself..
you don't really get "How Much worse....
till they send a guy over.to dislocate your shoulder..
they
want you to know..
this
it. didn't "just happen'
you stop drawing.
and get better at "maintaining"
your Drug habit
...and not letting it show too much
or in the wrong way
how much you hate "these guys"
they like that you hate them though-you just know this-
they like watching you squirm..
but you are getting old
23,24,25,and fuck all -26!
and THIS becomes a -problem..
they let you draw again..
though.---------------------------------
the tech....remains the same...
but different..
.they have to "teach you a lesson"
for getting too old....to be fun to fuck around with sexually
they do stuff with sound ....AND IT SURE AIN'T SILENT SOUND- NO MORE...
they wanted the tech you realize to make you leap..
to make you diedidn't even care anymore...about saving you as "a human monkey" for what was coming round the bend...in a decade..
THIS YOU REALIZE NOW.
WHILE... watching some version of Daddy Long Legs..split into 2 than three than four..
been seeing this way now going on 4 years...
"the apps"
I wish I had "the balls ' to finish myself off..
let this" story" ...finish me off..
they do stuff with sound ....AND IT SURE AIN'T SILENT SOUND- NO MORE...
they wanted the tech you realize to make you leap..
to make you diedidn't even care anymore...about saving you as "a human monkey" for what was coming round the bend...in a decade..
THIS YOU REALIZE NOW.
WHILE... watching some version of Daddy Long Legs..split into 2 than three than four..
been seeing this way now going on 4 years...
"the apps"
I wish I had "the balls ' to finish myself off..
let this" story" ...finish me off..
..
you gotta understand something about LA
about the section of LA called Hollywood.not west Hollywood...but Hollywood.
they kept this area..to this day...
as flytrap
.
.
cheap hotels..
scientologists.more cheap hotels
for the
for the
runaways. the whores..some programmed to be "be"just these things...
a good cocksucker is not ...a good good for nothing piece of Human organism IS OFTEN
MADE TO BE MANIPULATED
.
a good cocksucker is not ...a good good for nothing piece of Human organism IS OFTEN
MADE TO BE MANIPULATED
.
doesn't make any sense .THIS PART OF TOWN
..if you think about property values..
..if you think about property values..
how this prime piece of retail property ...just stayed undeveloped until you get wise to what this entire section
of Hollywood IS AND WAS for..
MK ULTRA.... Psychotronic Testing...
a mindfuck
A HOLE .
A
Disneyland ...WITH NO EXIT ..BUT A LONG Way DOWN for the Go Ask Alice crowd..
(5)
I FEEL BAD..
writing badly about the Mandlers.
they've been there all my life.
I know of no other way of "being"
I don't really have any comparisons I can make to any other way..
it's my dead dad's birthday today...is why..
how much did he know?
how much more the threat must have been to him..
for him to do what he did..
to me..
maybe they convinced him...they were doing something awesome..
..
that this was the only way .
to make something new out of humans..
but what?
this?
---
even the spiders...the scary stuff they make me see and hear..with those bots.they put up my arm when they brought me back to LA..
I can take it..
I am "up to the task'
...and they ...
inform me..No..no...they wouldn't have let me jump..
let me die...
let me kill myself...back between "reels"
between the "bots" came along for a genuine BCI...
and not I watch this..
I make you hear this.
...
nop way would they have let anything happen to
"their " Kid..
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